RAW Thoughts

Randy 'Macho Man' SavageOn the heels of a number of solid RAW programs in a row, can WWE continue the momentum? With two top babyfaces and Erick Rowan “fired” by The Authority last week, how will things go for the roster tonight?

– FFS…John Cena yet again opened up RAW with a long-winded promo. Yawn. And let’s just think about what Cena threatened to do if he won the WWE championship: go home and hold it “hostage”. Ummm…isn’t that what Brock Lesnar‘s been doing for the past few months?

Cena vs Rollins– So we were given yet another John Cena vs Seth Rollins match. I can’t really complain because Rollins seems to bring the best out in Cena. The stipulation was that if Cena could win, he would win the jobs of Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, and Erick Rowan back. Of course, the caveat was that it was a Lumberjack Match with all heels surrounding the ring. Hey…if it gets Justin Gabriel some RAW air time, then I’m all for it.

– The match wasn’t nearly as good as it could have been, as the in-ring restrictions made each man pretty tentative. I’ll give credit where it’s due, though…that jump from the top rope to the floor was impressive. In the end, Cena couldn’t overcome the odds or a “Knockout Punch” from Big Slow. The win went to Rollins. A big “meh” and a predictable match.

Ambrose the clown– I don’t know what they’re doing with Dean Ambrose, but they’ve taken a “Stone Cold-esque” character and turned him into a joke. It’s one joke after another with the guy, when he should be an ass-kicking psychopath. I mean, I know they’re trying to appeal to a certain demographic, but in attempting to do so they are killing the momentum of their top babyfaces before they get a chance to truly get over.

READ, ALSO : Roman Reigns

Cesaro/Kidd v New Day– Nobody seems to have explained just why Cesaro and Tyson Kidd are a tag team now. When did this start and how did they start to gel so quickly? Having them start a battle against the New Day doesn’t do much for me because I simply don’t care about the New Day. I guess, though…everybody needs something to fight for, so might as well have a 6-person battle with New Day and Cesaro, Kidd, and Adam Rose. Might as well give them something to do, right? The match was a dud and we’re now 0-for-2 with in-ring performances.

Hell…at this point, I’m counting down the days until Impact airs on Friday night. Seriously.

– They were really promoting the Randy Savage Hall of Fame induction announcement tonight. It’s weird…I don’t recall them pushing a “potential” announcement like this before. I mean…it’s announced or it’s not, right?

B7Mc_YdIEAEc483.png largeBut then I saw the following tweet…

God…I hope he’s wrong.

Big SlowBig Slow made his way to the ring to give another promo. Don’t get me wrong, his promos are good but YAWN. He has made his career doing Lex Luger-esque heel/babyface turns. The crowd began to chant, “BORING”…and quite frankly, I couldn’t agree more.

This isn’t entertaining. Slow proceeded to call Roman Reigns a loser and, by proxy, so was the WWE Universe. It was a nice way to get cheap heat on Show so Reigns could get a big babyface reaction on RAW. Of course, as Reigns made his way into the ring Slow walked out.

Unfortunately, this resulted in ANOTHER promo. Check that…this resulted in Reigns delivering another RIDICULOUS promo. This is why John Cena is so hated!! This type of silly promo just kills momentum. It’s entertaining for kids, perhaps…but it seems to be more entertaining for Vince “I’m Out Of Touch” McMahon.

Harper vs Reigns– Thankfully, Luke Harper came out to have a match with Reigns. If anybody could pull a good match out of Reigns, it’s Harper. The match was okay…not as good as I anticipated. After a quick spear out of nowhere by Reigns, Harper raised his left leg so Reigns could hook it during the pin. Sigh…

– One Diva wrestled another Diva with one arm tied behind her back. The entire crowd sat in stunned silence wondering why they were being punished.

Brock Lesnar went to the ring so Paul Heyman could FINALLY bring some real entertainment to the show.

B7MoJCHIQAI9pdp.png largeUso vs MizThe Miz continued his never-ending feud with the Usos by wrestling Jay. Really, it was another reason to showcase Damien Mizdow. Whomever is booking these Miz matches is really brilliant and I’ll tell you why. Mizdow is not only entertaining everybody by acting like a fool, but he’s distracting the opponents in the ring. He’s the one who is helping Miz win his matches, yet he never technically interferes or directly causes a match outcome. It’s subtle and it’s working.

Daniel Bryan came out for yet another promo. I mean…come on, people. We had the opening segment, the Big Slow promo, the Roman Reigns promo, the Paul Heyman promo, and now the Daniel Bryan promo. All you need is to mix-in an appearance by…ahh…yes…Stephanie McMahon to do a promo of her own. Ultimately, it built-up to a confrontation between Bryan and Kane to lead-up to Bryan’s return match on Smackdown.

Bryan vs Kane

– There was a quick backstage segment with Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar. It didn’t say much, but it spoke volumes about the match at the Royal Rumble.

“I am the future of WWE.” – Seth Rollins

“The future starts when I say it starts.” – Brock Lesnar

B7MvaQxIIAAly-Y.png large

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!

PaigePaige wrestled Brie Bella and, quite frankly, gave her WAY too much offense. But that’s what they do when Paige is inexplicably playing the babyface: she forgets how to wrestle and gets her ass beat. Tyson Kidd distracted Paige and caused her to get rolled-up. After the match, he got bitch-slapped by Paige, which caused Natalya to  smirk…resulting in more foolish nonsense that will probably be covered on Total Divas.

– They finally announced that Randy “Macho Man” Savage was going to be the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2015. I’m glad it wasn’t a swerve…but man, I had to sit through a pretty crappy 2 1/2 hours to finally find out for sure.

B7MzgrPCQAETb3L.png largeAscensionThe Ascension came out and sucked the air out of the room. And here’s the thing: the heel announcer (JBL) was the one calling them out for fighting nobodies while the babyface announcers (Cole & Booker T) were trying to put them over. Aren’t they heels? WHAT THE FUCK??? What am I missing with these two? What is WWE trying to accomplish to put them over?

– YET ANOTHER PROMO. At least this time it was the gorgeous Lana and the awesome Rusev. I’m really beginning to love these two as a duo. Rusev has improved by leaps and bounds and Lana is incredible in her role.

Ambrose vs RusevDean Ambrose then came out to confront (wrestle?) Rusev. He sent Rusev scurrying and we went to commercial. Of course, this led to an actual match which was good because I was THISCLOSE to turning the show off for lack of wrestling. I should have because the match was cut short by a “referee stops match due to injury” angle. Seriously…this show has been abysmal.

Contract signing– A contract signing between John Cena, Seth Rollins, and Brock Lesnar was the “main event” of the evening. I gotta say…this was a star-making performance by Rollins. He was given the ball and he delivered. He did a great job on the mic and really showed improvement there. The segment ended with Cena putting Lesnar through a table, Rollins curb-stomping Cena, and then Rollins curb-stomping Lesnar. So they went off the air with The Authority applauding Seth Rollins as he stood tall over his Royal Rumble competitors.

Rollins standing tallAll-in-all, this was a really bad episode of RAW. After going a few weeks with some really good programming, they failed miserably last night. It’s a shame, too, because I was really looking forward to this episode.

I’m already looking forward to Impact on Friday.

Yes…I just read what I wrote. I can’t believe it, either.

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