The World According to ZAH

Just when you think the world will slow down for a bit, it doesn’t…

Shane McMahon– So Shane McMahon returned to RAW this past Monday night. While the story is obviously “last-second” in nature, I still think it’s believable enough that it could be true…which is kinda the whole point to begin with. The only negative is that the Chairman and CEO of a publicly held company wants to puts the fate of the company in the outcome of a wrestling match. Well…I guess so, right? If it WASN’T a publicly held company, then maybe it’d make a bit more sense. But still…the thought of Shane-o-Mac taking on Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match at WrestleMania is pretty insanely intriguing. I don’t know if it’ll happen or not, though…could this all be a set-up for John Cena to return early from injury and face Taker as originally scheduled? To me, that seems more plausible than McMahon vs Undertaker, though it’s being reported that this match was set-up about a month ago when it was decided that Cena couldn’t return from injury in time. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

– Ummmm…please be December 2017 as soon as possible. Thanks!!

Michael ElginMichael Elgin signed a 2-year contract with New Japan last week. As I’ve mentioned previously, while not a huge fan of Elgin I can totally see the potential with him being the new breakout gaijin star in Japan. He could legitimately become the next Stan Hansen, Bruiser Brody, or Vader. Yes, I truly believe that he’s got that much potential in NJPW. I could potentially see him “over” enough with New Japan crowds to eventually seriously challenge for the IWGP championship. For whatever reason, he comes across as boring in North America…but he’s tearing it up in Japan.

Triple H vs Reigns 1– In a world where hardcore internet fans seem to be increasingly influencing how casual fans react to superstars, it’s hard to make something that appears to be “real”. Vince did that on Monday night when he dropped an F-bomb during his confrontation with Shane (they edited it out of the live feed, but the crowd reacted). The other thing that happened on Monday was Triple H decimating Roman Reigns‘ face. The entire problem that WWE has been having is trying to make Reigns a sympathetic character when they obviously want him to be the future face of the company. The fans aren’t having any of it and refuse to enjoy this watered-down version of Reigns. They LOVED when he went after Triple H and sent him out on a stretcher. They cheered when he told Stephanie that he was going to send her old man to the hospital. Reigns needs to be a bad-ass, yet WWE continue to try making him John Cena 2.0 and it’s turning the fans against him, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong.

Okay…going back to Triple H’s manhandling of Reigns’ face from Monday night. Here’s the video of the incident for those who haven’t seen it yet:

Unfortunately, the next morning a video came out that appeared to show Byron Saxton handing off something to Reigns off-camera. Reigns then appeared to smear something on his face before he came up with “blood” smeared everywhere. Here’s the video in case you haven’t seen it yet:

The internet fans immediately went off on Reigns and WWE for giving us “fake blood”.

Mind blownThis made me laugh because…and I hate to break it to you…the world of wrestling has been giving us fake blood for decades now. Sure, the majority of wrestlers decided that blading was the way to go but don’t for a second think that fake blood hasn’t been a part of the industry. The other thing that I hate to tell these “fans” is that this is sports entertainment and (ahem) the entire point of the business is to simulate hurting your opponent. The BEST wrestlers are those who don’t actually hurt the guys they’re in the ring with…but you think they did.

Wait…why am I explaining this?? If you don’t understand what actually encompasses wrestling, then why are you a “fan” of it? You THINK you know…but you don’t really know.

Roman ReignsI feel really bad for Roman Reigns. WWE is really trying to push legitimate injuries in this “TMZ World“, yet we all know that Roman’s nose wasn’t actually broken and he didn’t actually require surgery (though it’s been mentioned that he may have had a pre-existing condition that required minor nose surgery). But that’s okay, though…knowing that Herschel didn’t actually die on The Walking Dead doesn’t make me love the show any less. I mean c’mon people…it’s entertainment! If you can’t sit back and pretend you’re watching something real, then you shouldn’t be a fan. Period.

– I saw the new trailer for a straight-to-video movie called I Am Wrath starring John Travolta and Christopher Meloni this past week. It looked a LOT better than your average “revenge” film, except that one thing kept bothering me. I mean, I realize that Travolta’s fallen on hard times (and hard penises, from what I’ve read), but couldn’t they have gotten him a much better wig?? His hair distracted me throughout the entire film. See it for yourself.

Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar– I don’t know about you, but Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania doesn’t do much for me. Will it be an awesome match? No…not at all. You’ll see Ambrose take a massive beating and take some unnecessary bumps, then he’ll get an occasional offensive move in that startles Lesnar for a bit. Ambrose might even win the whole thing in the end, but their build has CLEARLY shown that Ambrose just doesn’t have what it takes to battle Lesnar one-on-one. He’s been decimated at every encounter and hasn’t been able to do anything against Lesnar other than hit a low-blow or use a chair. Now that I think about it, the only way this match might be interesting will be if it’s a NO DQ match with weapons available…because at least that puts Ambrose on an even playing field. Think back to Lesnar’s match with CM Punk for a minute: at least Punk’s offense was believable. I believed that Punk had a shot against Lesnar. I do not feel that way about Ambrose…at all.

WWE Network– I am absolutely STOKED to hear about this new “WWE Global Cruiserweight Series” that Triple H is bringing to the WWE Network this summer. Here is their description:

“For the first time ever, WWE invites cruiserweights from all over the world to compete in the inaugural Global Cruiserweight Series. Thirty-two of the greatest in-ring competitors under 205 lbs. will descend upon Full Sail University in Orlando and collide over 10 weeks to earn the right to call themselves the best cruiserweight in the world.”

I don’t know about you, but this is extremely exciting. Not only because we’ll get to see high-flying moves and such, but because there are a lot of fantastic independent performers out there that are considered too small for WWE, even now with NXT going after a number of smaller indy guys. I’ll have a post dedicated to just who I think would be great for this tournament, but names that immediately come to mind are:

  1. RicochetRicochet (aka Prince Puma on Lucha Underground)
  2. Neville
  3. ACH (from PWG and ROH)
  4. Kalisto
  5. Hideo Itami (if he’s ready to return from injury by then)
  6. Tyler Breeze
  7. Zack Sabre Jr (from PWG)
  8. Finn Bálor
  9. New free agent Kota Ibushi (one of the most exciting wrestlers on the planet)
  10. Sami Zayn

How’s THAT for a starting line-up?? This really could be an entity in and of itself…a separate roster of just cruiserweights under a different WWE name. So then you’d have WWE, NXT, and whatever the cruiserweights would be called. Really…it’s brilliant marketing strategy by Triple H. But I don’t want to put the cart before the horse. We’ll just have to wait and see where this all leads us in the coming months.

Laura James & Joey Ryan– It’s gone viral, but just in case you haven’t seen Joey Ryan propose to wrestler girlfriend Laura James during their match (and then pin her after she accepted), then here it is for you. I’m a big fan of Ryan and have been following him on his YouTube channel for a couple of years now. It’s great to see something like this because it’s original and fun and brings a smile to my face.

Song of the Week comes from a band I don’t normally listen to. When I first saw this video, I was mesmerized. Then the song began to grow on me. A LOT. Regardless of your tastes in music, I think you owe it to yourself to spend five minutes watching this new video by Chemical Brothers (featuring Beck on vocals).

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